blur queen

2011-01-26T05:50:00.000-08:00

How can i love u more? Please do teach me , haven't i do enough? Yes indeed is not enough truefully. How can i? I do love you. So please help me.

2010-12-08T22:37:00.000-08:00

Once there is a white lily. She is charming adorable and happy. However she is always afraid of the dark and the outside world. She thinks she never could survive in the outside world by its own cause it is too dangerous. She always meet sun on the day, Sun was the best friend of lily. Sun tells lily otherwise, the outside world may be dangerous but it is also adventurous and joyful, Only if lily was willing step out to the outside then she will be able to grow into a beautiful and colorful lily.
But poor lily was too afraid that Sun will abandon her to take the journey by himself because she was reluctant to move.too afraid to, she can bare with it.
And so, lily made a selfish decision that was to abandon her very best friend before her friend did so. she let lone herself to live in darkness that she was always afraid of and do not come out on the day. She had gave up sun, without sunlight by lacking of the nourishment of the sun lily is getting sick, her heart was shut . She was sad and lonely. everyday tears had wash her face.
Sun was so worried about lily but he cant do anything but to try to shine into the dark. try to nourish lily as much as possible. hoping day by day lily will return so that they could be friends go round and round the world. Sun will never give up lily no matter what.
It take sometime for lily to realize that, but she is not to late. That morning after N days lily walk out from the dark and see sun again . Sun did not walk away and left her alone. he had been waiting all this while. lily has been never as fresh as before.
happily ever after. <3

2010-07-29T08:51:00.000-07:00

what am i doing?? i m blind i cant see the way pls lead me!! i m soso lost, god lord jesus pls dont give up on the missing sheep. i need u. i feel so helpless, my studies my future my goal..everything.

2010-06-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

hmm i am not that angry now for all my memory in my hard disk being delated by my brother. i think the reason is all the memory will not lost in my heart my mind n soul.. all cant be forgotten unless until my death

2010-06-12T06:58:00.000-07:00

原来不是他们不适合我，而是我是我不适合他们

小女孩要长大

2010-06-09T08:52:00.000-07:00

我想小女孩需要碰碰钉子才能长大．　
要不只是住在自己幻想的乐园里是无法知道这天有多高，海有多深．．．
也无法知道真理，事实及世界的残酷．　小女孩想要知道世界的痛和泪．
小女孩不想白吃白喝住在宫殿里像公主一样等人侍候．
小女孩不想被当井底之蛙，她想用自己双手脚去体验人的人情世故．

她知道她会碰钉子撞墙子．．．她会努力不让自己受伤，正因为她长大了！

a terrible disease got a fine cure

2010-06-01T20:59:00.000-07:00

this thing had haunt me for weeks, and giving me sleepless night.

finally no insonmia again i sleep from 11 to 10.^^

hope i m not addicted to the drugs whahah

2010-05-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

Lord i do belive , help my unbelieve.
主我信，请补助我的无信．

meaning of love

2010-05-17T09:08:00.000-07:00

love is forgiveness

forgiveness is love

love is an action
~~~ the willingness to forgive is love

the Answer

2010-05-14T09:39:00.000-07:00

the answer then i seek for years, he enlighten me. There is no coincident.
He shines forever. and i love him!

放下完美，人生更美．

2010-05-13T08:54:00.000-07:00

我们每个人都在追求不同的欲望达至心目中的完美人生，有人不停购物，证明自己存在的价值；有人梦寐以求登极乐世界，　在追梦的过程中，也宛如掀开了潘多拉的盒子，　人性的贪婪，　自私倾巢而出，　到底我们完美了人生？　还是人生完美了我们？

by 吴嘉雯　星洲

我觉得这篇文章很有意识有很多值得反省的地方．往往我们在日常生活中我们几乎忘了什么是满足，知足常乐，退一步海阔天空也根本不存在我们的字典内．执着变成了固执，果断变成残忍，有心变成私心，家人变成了陌生以达成我们的完美? 我们是如何衡量我们心目中的完美呢？到底完美如何把我们的眼都遮蔽了呢？我们又用多少的美满去换取完美？
我们实在错过太多了．

the Reminder that i wish i wont forget!

2010-05-09T05:56:00.000-07:00

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Love Potion

2010-05-09T04:32:00.000-07:00

Sometimes love were so normal,just like breathing in the air,
it was so usual that sometimes it was hard to felt it presents.

Some we thought that relationships does not need to make effort to maintain it.
It was as natural as drinking water, we never thought we will lose it someday!

All were so natural, so usual that as if we take it for granted?

Prayer when Ones is down

2010-05-05T21:42:00.000-07:00

I know, lord, that you believe in me

Dear lord,

There are decisions

That must be made

And obligations that must be fulfilled.

There are deadlines to be met

And duties to be performed.

But I know, Lord,

That you will lead me to the right path.

I do have bad days and I make stupid mistakes;

I know I sometimes fail to live up to people’s expectations.

But, Lord, despite my shortcomings

I know you have not given up on me.

I am not as beautiful

As I want to be;

I am not as young

As I used to be;

I am not as talented

As I wish to be;

I am not as strong

As I strive to be.

But Lord, you make me feel

A am someone great

Because you choose me

To be your servant.

I know I am special

And important in your eyes

You gave up your life to save me

And set me free. Amen

the Speaking test

2010-05-04T18:56:00.001-07:00

sigh... i have been worried for yearss, it finally comes to an end .hehe

Today finally is my speaking test , i enjoyed throughout the whole exam.It is really interesting and i have so much fun . My group members were lugman, viknesh and lent.
I am consider quite lucky as i am in the second group so we actually have time to break the ice. And most important my group members were quite friendly and chatty lolz..
the topic for today is what is the most important thing you need to prepare when you are to go to the first job interview. There are four points which are:
1. to get information about the job
2. to get information about the organisation
3. the dress attire
4. to improve communication skills

Eventually i lack of a bit bit luck. Because i am candidate A which means i must speak first.
sigh.. that is not the point , the point is i miss the word 1st job interview, which i actually focusing too much of getting information about the job ...sad luckily the examiner was lineant she reminded me and asked me to speak more in part B.

In part B we are actually having a discussion from the topic given just now and create an arguement. The mr. lugman keep intterupt me .... when i am having a debate with viknesh..
stupid 1!!! other 2 which is lent and lugman quickly stand on viknesh's point n support him right after viknesh opposes me.. bad fellow la they all bully me...=( making 3 against 1
but is really nice to have them in the test, they are quite chatty so we are able to maintain the conversation there isnt any pause or silence.. ( i laughed throughout the conver, but i hope the examiner dont mind because she laughed too... at me fighting against them lolz hope she enjoy it )

Jesus just love me so much he blessed me.. i LOVE LOVE him tooo hehe

戴佩妮-一个人的行李- having this feeling now

2010-05-02T09:00:00.000-07:00

Just feeling to go travel now, i wanna go i wanna walk i wanna run wanna climb wanna jump.
i wan peace and silence ...i wanna be out of here. Like a bird in a cage is thirst of freedom and wanted desparately to be release. It cant wait a second more to stretch its arm to let go and fly to the sky with no boundaries no restriction. And it is ready to claim all its freedom which no ones is able to deprive......................
The never ending journey had started.

The iMperfect day

2010-05-02T08:48:00.000-07:00

the day was my big day .. hmm i knew i knew i should be grateful is such a way... but still
i do not know why.. am i a bit green here? i guess yes i am coz i never get what ppl get on their birthday..
But in true they also din get what i get on my birthday.
then why compare?
then why jeolous?
then why unhappy?
then why remember?
then why forgot?

the blur day

2010-04-24T21:45:00.000-07:00

muet......i suppose i din aything correct except myself to the exam hall .zzz
1. i forgot my ic
2. i brought in the wrong exam slip
3. i din bring pencil
damn .. a swt swt day, lucky me is i still feel calm hahah
God is with me.
so i told the teacher i forgot to bring my purse i got nth to proof myself i asked can i call my mom, she said ok go call. lolz
i enter and out the hall dunno how many times liao >.<,
i park my car just 3 steps from the exam hall then i buzzed my car for few times lock and unlock coz forget this and that. wow i think i m incredible. that time i really feel like using a ccloth to cover my face >.< i got no face liao sigh..

Some complaint,
the audio for listening is just really suxxx.. they repeated dunno how many times n the disc got stuck, they even change 3 cds zzzz
at that time we only left last 2 question , i think they just love us so much and refuse to let us go lolzz we spend extra 20 min just for the last 2 question. stupid nia haha

Total mess and i am PISSED

2010-04-19T06:41:00.000-07:00

i never thought i scare to be lonely dat much.. i dunno what happen to my job i just simply dislike it. Specially i have no motive and objective to be there.
I feel really suffering today, my job might not be really hard but my heart and soul was going hard.
i just do not know wat to do, it was just a total mess.
i need to do spare part, i need to do swap >.< . i do not whether i know should thank my leader coz i din not get scolded of all mistake i have done but i just dont feel so.
the new guy zzzzzzzzz i dunno how to say, sigh is just too much for me to take care off. and i dont really like him much. dont ask why, just a feel.
i miss all my friends and my past colleague derrick and ziin(= jocelyn) which entretained me throughtout all the working period. i miss you all guys^^

Can i still stand this? should i still stand this?

i dunno..... i dunno what i wanted.

happy birthday mommmy

2010-04-17T21:57:00.002-07:00

happy birthday mommy!!! love you so so much.
You are the best mom ever which always love me and pamper me so much haha..
i really dun think i can ever live without you, even when i m working i start thinking abt home, i miss your cook.
i really felt sad these few week because i am not able to eat your dishes and talk to you.
i just miss you soso much.
Thanks for delivering me,
thanks for giving me a warm home,
thanks for giving me your love,
thanks for sharing your life with me,
thanks for kissing me,
thanks for hugging me,
thanks for pampering me,
thanks for cooking me dishes,
thanks for washing my clothes,
thanks for everything and everything you brought to my life.
thank you.

lastly I LOVE YOU

The Murder

2010-04-11T06:35:00.000-07:00

What is Shark Finning?

Shark finning refers to the removal and retention of shark fins and the discard at sea of the carcass. The shark is most often still alive when it is tossed back into the water. Unable to swim, the shark slowly sinks toward the bottom where it is eaten alive by other fish.
Shark finning takes place at sea so the fishers have only the fins to transport. Shark meat is considered low value and therefore not worth the cost of transporting the bulky shark bodies to market.
Any shark is taken-regardless of age, size, or species.
Longlines, used in shark finning operations, are the most significant cause of losses in shark populations worldwide.
Shark finning is widespread, and largely unmanaged and unmonitored.
Shark finning has increased over the past decade due to the increasing demand for shark fins (for shark fin soup and traditional cures), improved fishing technology, and improved market economics.
Shark specialists estimate that 100 million sharks are killed for their fins, annually.
One pound of dried shark fin can retail for $300 or more. It's a multi-billion dollar industry.

In other words, the living organism is being chopped down its hands and legs alive and being abandon and let the time to take away its life. They were let lone to die slowly in agony and in hands of human's truculent. Blood were rushing out from the main body because of the broken arms even tears were unseen as it was flushed away by the strong current, the heart pumping weakly, but they are still grasping for air waiting for their last breathe. What will be their prayer? to live or to die? All their sacrifice made us to enjoy our damn shark fin soup to ensure our status and pride. In fact throwing our humanity to the trash bin. And as we consume, we are crushing their crispy arms and legs like a serious killer enjoying after murdered the victim. That was just disgusting when thinking. To be frankly, shark fins were tasteless and only the soup which add the flavour to the dish. In addition, sharks also accumulated many harmful toxic into their bodies through bioaccumulation as their at the top of the food chain. Where is our humanity? do we really need to eat shark fins? I am extremely ashamed of myself which i just taken the dish last week sob>.< , if can i do not ever wanna eat sharkfin anymore.. T.T

<< extinction in a bowl

Do not be afraid

2010-04-09T09:08:00.000-07:00

Do not be afraid,
because i am your shelther.

Do not be afraid,
because i am with you.

Do not be afraid,
because i have power to save you from evil.

Do not be afraid,
because it was me.

PS. I will never forget my lamb, i recognise all my lamb just like they recognise me.

i am so wrong

2010-04-05T05:46:00.000-07:00

the job is scary nia.. >.< need to learn everything in 1 week?? i just left 4 days, ziin u need to save me lolz

sleepless morning @.@

2010-04-03T15:44:00.000-07:00

yeng lo two hours, sleep ghost arr >.< ... still feel like talking mouth damn thirsty lolzz

Happy Happy

2010-04-03T07:33:00.000-07:00

yuhoo. finally got myself a job this must thank my beloved dear ziin, hehe thankyou so much hehe. but i really hope i wont kena grace so much after u left damn scary lolzz haha. but i seriously thought no hope adi 1. hehe now suddenly keep my passion fire liao ^^ going on my next training
Gambateh tse, vivi san!!

the time has come

2010-03-31T10:53:00.000-07:00

It was time to let go, and i knew it.
Yeah, it was u, isn't ? You are telling me to let go, i am really sorry to let u suffered. i sincerely apologies to you.
sorry too, to use you when i am lonely.
Even for my stubborn lies i am sorry, thankyou for pulling me ahead to help me stand again and my sis thanks a lot.

Thanks for the joy u brought me. these are memory cant be taken away.
thanks for ur performance, i really enjoy it a lot!! you just ROCkXXX haha^^

why waiting??

2010-03-31T09:13:00.000-07:00

why although i knew that is wasting time i am still waiting?
I already have the best of all, i know that with him i will alive,feeling satisfy and not thirst anymore
But why i still feel so empty and lonely.?
why? what am i waiting?

God Please take me with you, please dont abandon me.

dying vivi

2010-03-31T03:15:00.000-07:00

died of ulitimate boredem,laziness, and loneliness ............................................................................................................................................................................ piang piang paing dead.

humble self or low esteem?

2010-03-30T21:50:00.000-07:00

Why do i give up that easily? i do not know but just feeling do not wanna see sad faces, arguement. I am to afraid to disappoint others. I do not like people have high expectation towards me but i do not like people or people disbelief my ability either. It seem doubtful to me . well a i smart or dumb? Sometimes i am really afraid to admit i am good at something because i do not want people to have expectation towards me and figured out actually i am not good enough. Or there is time that i am too frighten to be fail that i rather act or say that i dont know anything and refuse to accept the task given. I feel better that way by acting cowardly and childish. At the end i just refuse to do anything and so it just left an empty shell to myself knowing nothing.
Do i hate myself?
No, certainly not just love myself too much that i scare to fall and forgotten how to walk but kept relying on the wheel chair.
Is just like an ostich try to hide herself out of the hunter sight by blinding herself ( how dumb? )
However i just hope i love myself a little more by willing to stand up by my own to walk.

My dream

2010-03-28T07:36:00.000-07:00

a dream
i think it is sort of improtant but my memory was blurred. i just remember that is a white n bright place i m alone with a person. where am i? i am embrace tightly by someone important but i cant remember. we had a long conversation and i am crying in his arms , he told me something really important ,and i think i made a promise to him too but i just couldn't remember even i tried so hard. i dunno i really hope to remember. In the dream it was so cleared that i heard his voice, so soft and weak.i followed so closely to his word, his temperature and and his shivering voice. i think he was sobbing too , i cant see because i am in his arms. i wanted to remember this feeling. how dumb am i to forget such important thing.... pls can i have a chance to hear u again.

i just barely remember 1 word, "released"

but how could i? how could i?

my ielts exam

2010-03-26T23:31:00.001-07:00

OMG!! Geezz i seriously do not know how i did. n i dun care anymore. i just got haywire today.
i am soso concentrated n extra anxious too >.< , the examiner somemore pressure us zzz. 1st in my listening still ok, but i miss few answer blek :( . worst is when i transfer my answer i copied wrongly nia >.< too gan jiong (shock no.1)
2nd in my reading the examiner mispronounce 40 min to 14 min, i really got frustrated cause i m still in the 1st passage and she is telling us left 14 min???( shock 2) gosh... u know ur brain cant function well n go n consider how long have pass, scaryyy
writing i guess is easier than i though but i din really write well, my brain got to much shock liao, unable to think delibrately , and remembering nice phrases sigh.
the whole morning is just about having a race with time.. rush rush rush!
At last the examiner really funny la she mispronounce envelop again to enviloop damn funny. and she even keep stressing on it haha.

Believe in god or placebo??

2010-03-26T08:54:00.000-07:00

I really do not know is that trust in god or is just a placebo effect??
Many people claim is placebo, if you believe and you will have what you wanted.
However there are many people with big houses, fabulous car , pretty wife and being rich but
somehow they feel uncontented.

So to me believing in god is not simply just placebo. It was much more than that .I felt the presents of him,his love, his care, his everything
He may grant things you want or hope for sometimes, but not always.
Because he eventually did better than that, he give you more than you wanted more than you expected.
He might not giving what you want in the moment but what you needed most and the best for you!! even if you have not ask. He might be the parasite in you, a lovely one, who always hear you, he just know what you wanted most in deep.^^

That is why i am in love to him so much . i love you Jesus. muackzz

The alive zombie

2010-03-24T10:01:00.001-07:00

The night is so cold, so dark that i couldn't see my fingers, and it is so quiet that the blow of winds is the only sound to be heard. There were 4 walls here and a small hole that allow few molecules of air to enter, i touch nothing to grip on. I am findings ways to escape, but there is no place to run and banging into the same walls was not helping to get a way out. In instant i can feel the impact, it was so great that it bounds back quick to my flesh and crushed my ribs.I shouted so hard as if my thoracic cavity was collapsing, my eardrum was vibrating fast at ultrasonic speed from the echo collected. There is still no respond from the outside after X trials.
I am exhausted to continue so i lied down on the freezing floor and respire rapidly to grasping for the limited air with oxygen barely filled. I am hungry asnd thirsty too, what was so great that can fulfil my starvation? No one else was here, i was left alone. That is nothing , nothing left... why is it living as dying? Am i dead?

What is that?
There is that is a sign of my skin burning and needle penetrating through my eyes when there is something shines on me.Shines? A ray of light shinning on me? The dawn breaks again for me? A great delight warms my heart again. The curtains was held up, i was awaken by the same sweet voice i missed a lot. The sweetness of the voice can really bring a person to diebatic almost in second and i am addicted to it so much that i cant live without it. Inhale deep again,i felt new hope, freedom and life all back into my hands.

pathetic

2010-02-24T07:45:00.000-08:00

oh my... my pathetic blog has been dead for century.. sigh. as you all know i am kinda lazy to write haha. but i do enjoy reading others . how selfish? lolz but dunno y i just felt weird share feelings at that moment it happen whereas i prefer to just tell storries that happened. Sorry to tell i am a weird person.

The great dream of the three little trees

2009-11-08T05:26:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, in a deep forest living three little trees. They are from a family with the best quality of wood fibers. Hence, they are all very proud and ambitious.
On day they all are discussing about their dreams and plans in the future, they are competing with each other about how great of their own dreams.

The first tree said my dream is to be a tool of the king, so that everyone will honour me.

The second tree said, there is no big deals, my body was so strong, i wanted to become a a biggest ship that go acoss the world and have no fear of strong winds and tidals and to be sailed by the greatest fisherman on earth.

The third tree said, i wanted to be on the highest peak on the mountain and i wanted to be seen by everyone.

Ten years after, they all became matured and as strong as their parents they are so happy and excited to pursue their dreams.

Then, a man came to the forest he was delight to see the three tallest tree in the forest and decided to chop the three of them ( trees ) . This might make good fortune to him as he need extra savings for her wife to deliver his new baby.

The man have plan on each trees,
The first timber he will to make it into a manger to feed his livestock .

The second timber he would like to make it into a small boat to catch fish , so that he won't be afraid to starve his family.

The third timber he would want to sell to the mechant to earn some penny. However, he was out of luck because no one wants to buy his timber so he sold to a middleman with very low price. The timber was not use for long and was abandon in a old storage.

All trees were sad and disappointed, because their dreams were dead.

A YEAR AFTER, a pregnant lady, Mary and her husband Joseph had came all the way to this city, Bethlehem to deliver her baby but all rooms were occupied. Mary gave birth to her firstborn baby and laid him in the manger. He was given the name Jesus, the king of Israel. The dream of the first tree had come true.

THIRTY THREE YEARS past, a man called his dissappointed and fatigue disciples to sail the boat to the centre of the sea and cast the net there to catch fish,they all do it with suspicion but they followed his order and the day was rewarding .He is the best fisherman because he was the only man to fish for people.The dream of the second tree had come true.

Soon later, the last timber was spoted by a roman soilder. They quickly made it into a big heavy cross. Jesus was then hang on the cross on the top of the mountain, no people fail to see him. Together jesus and the cross bring glory to the heavenly father and the salvation to his people. The dream of the third tree had come true.

Set hope with faith to the living good , he never fail to hear us.

vivi is afraid, horrified,terrified and petrified

2009-11-03T06:18:00.000-08:00

i m scared ..it maybe nothing when i tell the matter but is bothering me, i do not know what to do.
i love my chemistry but always cant do it well. now i cant even finish my paper on time . i desperately wan to do best in my chemistry paper so desperate to prove to myself prove to dad prove to others, that i m capable in doing my chemistry. i wanna do well like any other people too. but now>.< i cant even finish my paper , m i just being to ambitious?
But i wan to be ambitious that is what i wanna be.. can anyone help . i m so scared

没有的证明-without evidence

2009-11-02T06:23:00.000-08:00

现在的我以对生命有不同的看法，对世间，人类，动物植物的互动。。
我爱上生命中平凡中的不平凡，那一种感情好不一样，要说也说不上来，
可望恋爱，但却不想谈恋爱
单恋，名恋，贪恋你, 但你却看不见
你在时想隐瞒对你的思念，不在是又一直美化我和你的过去
思念变成呼吸般普通，自然
以前为因你掉的眼泪不再伤心，而是为想起蜜糖般的甜蜜。
你问我相信来世吗？因为你信。
我虽想念你，很想飞奔到你那里告诉你，但我仍要告诉你我不信因为在我之上的那一位已向我证明永生之道，所以我只相信未来。
那我们是否就没办法再见呢？你在来世我在未来，我们又要错过吗？
那也无所谓了，因为错过是为了更精彩的后面。

死亡的看法呢？是个未知数因此变得可怕。。。又或者有放不下的遗憾
可是对我而言，死亡让我看见了生命，而且是不平凡的生命。
像发生了可怕的灾难或是病痛，死亡变得不可逃，
人类的毅力却在自然生态中让他们存活下来，
努力过了不代表失败而是走现一步，
所以失败的可能是慢了一拍的我们。
正因为如此，我为了走那狭窄的道路需要更努力了！！

最后的我还是任性的抱着一丝希望等待与你再见的日子。

the meant vivi

2009-09-09T08:43:00.000-07:00

hello here , i would like to say sorry to all my brothers n sisters..... so so sorry, i cant help to be mean . I dun even know since when i have change to such person . i never know i m such person as well, i felt so bad about it. I m so sorry that my words bring needles. why are you being so mean vivi ,why?? y r u doing this? is dat necessary? Do u know your word hurt others as well? what right do u have to justify others? what do u have? do not forget u r just a nobody? what makes u so proud n arrogant? without god u r just a worthless piece of shit

the new path or lost?

2009-08-22T00:34:00.000-07:00

My journey has continue... the road not taken
the path full with uncertainty and unknown
the path i have to walk alone
the path whereby is dark and sees no light
the path that makes me fear to take a step forward
the path that must be chosen
it is my destiny. to find ,to hear and to rely on you..

The COWARD

2009-07-15T04:51:00.000-07:00

The attitude of never be afraid and daring was once possess by me??ever??
i guess the answer was a fine NO.
I knew the need of self-confidence, self-esteem , and believing in yourself will be a must to be successful. BUT i never have one of those, because i have always been a coward and being afraid to lose, to afraid of failure, being afraid to embarrass myself, too afraid, too afraid too afraid of everything just like an ostrich...which hide itself in the ground as if no one will see it so that it wont have to confront the strange n awkward situation. In which this always have ended to brought me to the great failure. This is because the little mini minor challenge had been given up by me from the very beginning even before the starting point... And of course challenges was always an opportunity to grow so that it enable us to be successful. I understand the values but i never practice it, i am just being afraid of pain.

Even though some times i do get the chance to perform or speak for group, i never did a great job NEVER EVER.. i am sorry to all my members which i always have been 扯 you all punya 后腿 i have never be a good member, i felt really guilty & sorry about that really especially my act and atitude, i even pointed to others to do my job as the job had already assign to me. i hate myself being nervous at the front even they are all my classmate and it has already been so many times.. i hate it i hate it. Why will i always act so silly and stupid in front to make fun of myself???..then i am back to my place and being disappointed of what i have done...How many time is this going to repeat? i already 18 a great adult... am i still gonna perform like this for another 100 years still giving herself an excuse being nervous and lack of confidence?? OMG that is ridiculous and very funny if these continue i really dunno how am i going to face the future's challenges and the world.. is that why that i am not i am not qualified to be a tool of god as i am useless and weak.. i will never be as great like our mother Marry,the disciples of Jesus, St Paul, saints , mother Teresa , Michael Jackson, and of course those who work hard for god..ys and even my sis to be so brave and daring... only me who cannot do it only me....still acting like a cry baby who being scared as mommy was missing.( a pampered child)
Pls help me!!! i wanna get our of this PLS PLS PLS

God save me ffrom slacking again

2009-06-25T04:42:00.000-07:00

Psycho psycho ..... aRrHHHHHHH
how to do??? really hate to study those research can anyone help???
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
16% of my marks gone again ....

my Little Rock Scripture Study's Graduation

2009-06-24T09:11:00.000-07:00

Finally hehe we r all out of jail keke....... thankyou my Lord Jesus Christ for letting all my group member to be graduating with me. We are all gathered here in the name of yours to share the words of you and being the witnesses of you.
I am so sorry to dat i m always not good enough , just like any people we fell down, so god please strengthen us.

To be graduated from the Prison of st. Paul 1st we need to finish the letters from st.Paul-Epistle to the Philipians, Philemon,Colossians,Ephesians (which i adi finish damn damn happy) and our attendance should be 70% very strict ler. SCARY
Luckily i finally was bail from the prison hehe. When my prisoner barcode was announce is wrong der.. then Father da hua is like looking at me staring n very sure dat this person is present n he waited n waited me to come out ended he wanted to tear off my cert adi lol
gosh damn embarrass wei haha .. anyway i m bailll!! who cares abt dat hahah.

to all my friends i really wanted to share this person with you all that is St. paul. but i really wanna go to bed adi maybe next time .. he is really great n interesting ..

ya n dat pic is my prove hehe n my cert i din post la lazy haha

the last minute outing in my holiday

2009-06-24T08:53:00.000-07:00

wow a lazy morning again hehe.... my alarm rang wor 5 times still snooring lol kesiannya ...... woke at ten okok should start on my psycho research die lu lazy to read lol

nvm go have fun 1st hehe , zhini n sue yen msg wow.. suddenly so many dates lol jkjk
so 1 went out to meet my great buddies( yen n wei wei) at sp really long long time din c them le missed them a lot lot . i say again alooooooooooooooootttttttt!!!!!!!! good thing they r coming to sunway - really soon hehe.. but both of then got hubby sayang liao left me alone sob sob nobody 1 haha . good for them la both couple also so sweet .
sing K at amp karaoke - gosh we got two group 1 keep singing 2nd can play 1 2 juice... swt la
y not singing??
SUE YEN wanna pak tao also next time ma teman ur hubby me n bo yuan damn cham being light bulb again damn gan ga la gosh luckily be4 dat got hao yuan teman haha but he more kesian la no transport to go back , faster thank me for being such a nice person to send u back home while risking all our lives wakkakaka..

SO, Bobo yuan owe me once ya really jam arr go to your house nearly miss my graduation

Ps. miss u guys alll

the Curse

2009-06-23T06:13:00.000-07:00

wah my family damn cam last month just back from australia, my dad had ask us to paint my room.- my sis drop off from the ladder ended up need to X-ray. yesterday me kena motobike bang, my face ruin adi . today is my younger sis turn to gan jioug to get in the car n fell down.
gosh kesian. my little brother u better be careful i might be your turn... wkakakaak

Now Now Now again my tradegy story

2009-06-22T00:32:00.000-07:00

Jun 22,i haven't even complete my pass story now i have a new 1 hot n fresh news!!!!!!
any1 interested???? call me 012 xxxxxxx lol special delivery huhu
Now the story begin, today plan to go to mega optic to settle my contact lens after bringing my sis her lunch box. Feel good my contact lens is not dat expensive than i thought lucky me sigh phew.. must be becareful to keep my luck on.
the next i cross the road i stop a car myvi great a nice gal she let me pass i turn right n left ohhoo good no car then i decided to cross fast ...........bish bong bang a sound heard the next second i m lying on the floor DAMN got to get up fast i touch my forehead ... some sense of sore i guess my hand? oh ya blood 1st time i m still standing middle of the road...just a few steps more i will reach my car why does this happening to me?? is dat simply i m blur or a new lesson for me?i du not noe
but i m still consider lucky i m not seriously 1 thing n got ppl actually lend a hand to me, a few ppl ask am i ok n got 1 even offer to drive me bac n i really follow him..
i do not noe y n how i trusted him enough to sit a stranger car, but he is really really good he drove me home asked me am i ok?? or did he need to send he to the hospital .. dat is really really warming n touchy u noe..

just my mom she heard that i got accident then my sis picked up my phone n exagerate n say i might involved in a terrible accident. when she say me she is like cheh peng ong shiong only so sad la.... nvm atleast i m really fine just my face ruin adi... wai yong liao+++ my leg , arm n butt got some blue black lo still can't die yet .
if really got thanks for those who r worrying me but need not to do that
I AM OKAY!! so dun worry

the doctor say might got scar lu who made me worried a bit cos is my face now bengkak some more sob

The miserable and valuable experience in the year!!

2009-06-21T21:00:00.000-07:00

Jan, 5th the day i went for my driving test ...morning 8 am (dat is very early for me)not too excited nor bored just normal.. my instructor start briefing us , he told us aim the best car ya , if not mati engine dont blame him lol..so must aim properly no insurance 1 =.= well, not to be proud i pass my slope perfectly followby parking n 3 point turn, everything just took 10 minutes.. awesome huh?
wat is next? stupid on the road la engine dead for more than 4 times " kamu turun sekarang jangan buang masa" omg i like wtf i flunk shit the test i waited for 5 hoursss ARRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHH
i gone pretty sad n angry.. but my story is not end yet because i "sudden brake" too many thime dat my stuff in m bag has drop off, the most important dat i din even know until... i forgot when i start searching my hp.. is gone cant imagine i lost... just like dat ......JUST LIKE DAAATTTTTTT??????????
the phone i precious most now everything has gone, especially the msg u left for me
Or r u telling me dats fate? asking me to accept the fact ??
oH YA maybe..

pain that i never imagine

2009-06-21T20:44:00.000-07:00

hi there, u have told me the pain that i never imagine . yes i u r so true, i couldn't imagine n experience the pain u pass through , the pain that worst than anything include death. the feeling is as u were dead and reborn from a new cell n regenerating ur body. Recover at a really really slow pace, bit by bit. everyday u struggle to be healthier than yesterday being tough n strong. Why r u always being strong alone as u do not need anyone . why u never lean on someone to hope for support. i know u need it.. just like any one of us. You can be strong once or hundreds or thousands but please be weak once can u?? let me be by your side at least once... i beg u plssssssssssssss

i will never say goodbye

2009-06-21T20:17:00.000-07:00

The day u hv gone to a place which is far away from here without my notice u left. What should i do why is that so sudden that u left me alone... i knew u tried hard that's why u r always faster than me in the journey. why cant i win u once n ever???. stop leaving me behind , i will never give up to reach where u r now. u wait and watch-out the revenge AAAAAARHHHH u made me mad!!

Ps. i said u gonna watch-out, have u copied? have i made my sentence clear?

first in FIA

2009-06-01T21:14:00.000-07:00

I missed my first orientation because of my driving test. now the only thing i knew is the class i hv but not the classroom, gosh 4th floor is like a maze (i m just telling the truth)... okok i admit i got lost anyway not trying to exagarate anything but i really got lost i took 1 month ++ to used to it okok maybe two months i m sorry.. ok back, then i meet tim he got lost with me too haha ( someone got lost with he wakakaka) then we r being the missing lamb following the the sheppard - Mr.Jeffery , we r following where ever he is going picking up missing lamb too...
hoooray finally reach our class, then my second team mate chun zhen , not a confident speaker in english but really gay lol joking joking no offence.

These 2 are my very first friend in Fia anf team mates really thanks them a lot for giving me a good time. because i joined this course alone.. hehe