pathetic

oh my... my pathetic blog has been dead for century.. sigh. as you all know i am kinda lazy to write haha. but i do enjoy reading others . how selfish? lolz but dunno y i just felt weird share feelings at that moment it happen whereas i prefer to just tell storries that happened. Sorry to tell i am a weird person.

The great dream of the three little trees

Once upon a time, in a deep forest living three little trees. They are from a family with the best quality of wood fibers. Hence, they are all very proud and ambitious.
On day they all are discussing about their dreams and plans in the future, they are competing with each other about how great of their own dreams.

The first tree said my dream is to be a tool of the king, so that everyone will honour me.

The second tree said, there is no big deals, my body was so strong, i wanted to become a a biggest ship that go acoss the world and have no fear of strong winds and tidals and to be sailed by the greatest fisherman on earth.


The third tree said, i wanted to be on the highest peak on the mountain and i wanted to be seen by everyone.

Ten years after, they all became matured and as strong as their parents they are so happy and excited to pursue their dreams.

Then, a man came to the forest he was delight to see the three tallest tree in the forest and decided to chop the three of them ( trees ) . This might make good fortune to him as he need extra savings for her wife to deliver his new baby.

The man have plan on each trees,
The first timber he will to make it into a manger to feed his livestock .

The second timber he would like to make it into a small boat to catch fish , so that he won't be afraid to starve his family.

The third timber he would want to sell to the mechant to earn some penny. However, he was out of luck because no one wants to buy his timber so he sold to a middleman with very low price. The timber was not use for long and was abandon in a old storage.

All trees were sad and disappointed, because their dreams were dead.

A YEAR AFTER, a pregnant lady, Mary and her husband Joseph had came all the way to this city, Bethlehem to deliver her baby but all rooms were occupied. Mary gave birth to her firstborn baby and laid him in the manger. He was given the name Jesus, the king of Israel. The dream of the first tree had come true.

THIRTY THREE YEARS past, a man called his dissappointed and fatigue disciples to sail the boat to the centre of the sea and cast the net there to catch fish,they all do it with suspicion but they followed his order and the day was rewarding .He is the best fisherman because he was the only man to fish for people.The dream of the second tree had come true.

Soon later, the last timber was spoted by a roman soilder. They quickly made it into a big heavy cross. Jesus was then hang on the cross on the top of the mountain, no people fail to see him. Together jesus and the cross bring glory to the heavenly father and the salvation to his people. The dream of the third tree had come true.

Set hope with faith to the living good , he never fail to hear us.

vivi is afraid, horrified,terrified and petrified

i m scared ..it maybe nothing when i tell the matter but is bothering me, i do not know what to do.
i love my chemistry but always cant do it well. now i cant even finish my paper on time . i desperately wan to do best in my chemistry paper so desperate to prove to myself prove to dad prove to others, that i m capable in doing my chemistry. i wanna do well like any other people too. but now>.< i cant even finish my paper , m i just being to ambitious?
But i wan to be ambitious that is what i wanna be.. can anyone help . i m so scared

没 有 的 证 明-without evidence

现 在 的 我 以 对 生 命 有 不 同 的 看 法， 对 世 间， 人 类， 动 物 植 物 的 互 动。。
我 爱 上 生 命 中 平 凡 中 的 不 平 凡， 那 一 种 感 情 好 不 一 样， 要 说 也 说 不 上 来，
可 望 恋 爱， 但 却 不 想 谈 恋 爱
单 恋， 名 恋， 贪 恋 你, 但 你 却 看 不 见
你 在 时 想 隐 瞒 对 你 的 思 念， 不 在 是 又 一 直 美 化 我 和 你 的 过 去
思 念 变 成 呼 吸 般 普 通， 自 然
以 前 为 因 你 掉 的 眼 泪 不 再 伤 心， 而 是为想 起蜜糖 般 的 甜 蜜。
你 问 我 相 信 来 世 吗？ 因 为 你 信。
我 虽 想 念 你， 很 想 飞 奔 到 你 那 里 告 诉 你， 但 我 仍 要 告 诉 你 我 不 信 因 为 在 我 之 上 的 那 一 位 已 向 我 证 明 永 生 之 道， 所 以 我 只 相 信 未 来。
那 我 们 是 否 就 没 办 法 再 见 呢？ 你 在 来 世 我 在 未 来， 我 们 又 要 错 过 吗？
那 也 无 所 谓 了， 因 为 错 过 是 为 了 更 精 彩 的 后 面。

死 亡 的 看 法 呢？ 是 个 未 知 数 因 此 变 得 可 怕。。。 又 或 者 有 放 不 下 的 遗 憾
可 是 对 我 而 言， 死 亡 让 我 看 见 了 生 命， 而 且 是 不 平 凡 的 生 命。
像发 生 了 可 怕 的 灾 难 或 是 病 痛， 死 亡 变 得 不 可 逃，
人 类 的 毅 力 却 在 自 然 生 态 中 让 他 们 存 活 下 来，
努 力 过 了 不 代 表 失 败 而 是 走 现 一 步，
所 以 失 败 的 可 能 是 慢 了 一 拍 的我 们。
正 因 为 如 此， 我 为 了 走 那 狭 窄 的 道 路 需 要 更 努 力 了！！



最 后 的 我 还 是 任 性 的 抱 着 一 丝 希 望 等 待与你再见 的 日 子。

the meant vivi

hello here , i would like to say sorry to all my brothers n sisters..... so so sorry, i cant help to be mean . I dun even know since when i have change to such person . i never know i m such person as well, i felt so bad about it. I m so sorry that my words bring needles. why are you being so mean vivi ,why?? y r u doing this? is dat necessary? Do u know your word hurt others as well? what right do u have to justify others? what do u have? do not forget u r just a nobody? what makes u so proud n arrogant? without god u r just a worthless piece of shit

the new path or lost?

My journey has continue... the road not taken
the path full with uncertainty and unknown
the path i have to walk alone
the path whereby is dark and sees no light
the path that makes me fear to take a step forward
the path that must be chosen
it is my destiny. to find ,to hear and to rely on you..

The COWARD

The attitude of never be afraid and daring was once possess by me??ever??
i guess the answer was a fine NO.
I knew the need of self-confidence, self-esteem , and believing in yourself will be a must to be successful. BUT i never have one of those, because i have always been a coward and being afraid to lose, to afraid of failure, being afraid to embarrass myself, too afraid, too afraid too afraid of everything just like an ostrich...which hide itself in the ground as if no one will see it so that it wont have to confront the strange n awkward situation. In which this always have ended to brought me to the great failure. This is because the little mini minor challenge had been given up by me from the very beginning even before the starting point... And of course challenges was always an opportunity to grow so that it enable us to be successful. I understand the values but i never practice it, i am just being afraid of pain.

Even though some times i do get the chance to perform or speak for group, i never did a great job NEVER EVER.. i am sorry to all my members which i always have been 扯 you all punya 后 腿 i have never be a good member, i felt really guilty & sorry about that really especially my act and atitude, i even pointed to others to do my job as the job had already assign to me. i hate myself being nervous at the front even they are all my classmate and it has already been so many times.. i hate it i hate it. Why will i always act so silly and stupid in front to make fun of myself???..then i am back to my place and being disappointed of what i have done...How many time is this going to repeat? i already 18 a great adult... am i still gonna perform like this for another 100 years still giving herself an excuse being nervous and lack of confidence?? OMG that is ridiculous and very funny if these continue i really dunno how am i going to face the future's challenges and the world.. is that why that i am not i am not qualified to be a tool of god as i am useless and weak.. i will never be as great like our mother Marry,the disciples of Jesus, St Paul, saints , mother Teresa , Michael Jackson, and of course those who work hard for god..ys and even my sis to be so brave and daring... only me who cannot do it only me....still acting like a cry baby who being scared as mommy was missing.( a pampered child)
Pls help me!!! i wanna get our of this PLS PLS PLS