my ielts exam

OMG!! Geezz i seriously do not know how i did. n i dun care anymore. i just got haywire today.
i am soso concentrated n extra anxious too >.< , the examiner somemore pressure us zzz. 1st in my listening still ok, but i miss few answer blek :( . worst is when i transfer my answer i copied wrongly nia >.< too gan jiong (shock no.1)
2nd in my reading the examiner mispronounce 40 min to 14 min, i really got frustrated cause i m still in the 1st passage and she is telling us left 14 min???( shock 2) gosh... u know ur brain cant function well n go n consider how long have pass, scaryyy
writing i guess is easier than i though but i din really write well, my brain got to much shock liao, unable to think delibrately , and remembering nice phrases sigh.
the whole morning is just about having a race with time.. rush rush rush!
At last the examiner really funny la she mispronounce envelop again to enviloop damn funny. and she even keep stressing on it haha.

Believe in god or placebo??

I really do not know is that trust in god or is just a placebo effect??
Many people claim is placebo, if you believe and you will have what you wanted.
However there are many people with big houses, fabulous car , pretty wife and being rich but
somehow they feel uncontented.

So to me believing in god is not simply just placebo. It was much more than that .I felt the presents of him,his love, his care, his everything
He may grant things you want or hope for sometimes, but not always.
Because he eventually did better than that, he give you more than you wanted more than you expected.
He might not giving what you want in the moment but what you needed most and the best for you!! even if you have not ask. He might be the parasite in you, a lovely one, who always hear you, he just know what you wanted most in deep.^^

That is why i am in love to him so much . i love you Jesus. muackzz

The alive zombie

The night is so cold, so dark that i couldn't see my fingers, and it is so quiet that the blow of winds is the only sound to be heard. There were 4 walls here and a small hole that allow few molecules of air to enter, i touch nothing to grip on. I am findings ways to escape, but there is no place to run and banging into the same walls was not helping to get a way out. In instant i can feel the impact, it was so great that it bounds back quick to my flesh and crushed my ribs.I shouted so hard as if my thoracic cavity was collapsing, my eardrum was vibrating fast at ultrasonic speed from the echo collected. There is still no respond from the outside after X trials.
I am exhausted to continue so i lied down on the freezing floor and respire rapidly to grasping for the limited air with oxygen barely filled. I am hungry asnd thirsty too, what was so great that can fulfil my starvation? No one else was here, i was left alone. That is nothing , nothing left... why is it living as dying? Am i dead?

What is that?
There is that is a sign of my skin burning and needle penetrating through my eyes when there is something shines on me.Shines? A ray of light shinning on me? The dawn breaks again for me? A great delight warms my heart again. The curtains was held up, i was awaken by the same sweet voice i missed a lot. The sweetness of the voice can really bring a person to diebatic almost in second and i am addicted to it so much that i cant live without it. Inhale deep again,i felt new hope, freedom and life all back into my hands.

pathetic

oh my... my pathetic blog has been dead for century.. sigh. as you all know i am kinda lazy to write haha. but i do enjoy reading others . how selfish? lolz but dunno y i just felt weird share feelings at that moment it happen whereas i prefer to just tell storries that happened. Sorry to tell i am a weird person.

The great dream of the three little trees

Once upon a time, in a deep forest living three little trees. They are from a family with the best quality of wood fibers. Hence, they are all very proud and ambitious.
On day they all are discussing about their dreams and plans in the future, they are competing with each other about how great of their own dreams.

The first tree said my dream is to be a tool of the king, so that everyone will honour me.

The second tree said, there is no big deals, my body was so strong, i wanted to become a a biggest ship that go acoss the world and have no fear of strong winds and tidals and to be sailed by the greatest fisherman on earth.


The third tree said, i wanted to be on the highest peak on the mountain and i wanted to be seen by everyone.

Ten years after, they all became matured and as strong as their parents they are so happy and excited to pursue their dreams.

Then, a man came to the forest he was delight to see the three tallest tree in the forest and decided to chop the three of them ( trees ) . This might make good fortune to him as he need extra savings for her wife to deliver his new baby.

The man have plan on each trees,
The first timber he will to make it into a manger to feed his livestock .

The second timber he would like to make it into a small boat to catch fish , so that he won't be afraid to starve his family.

The third timber he would want to sell to the mechant to earn some penny. However, he was out of luck because no one wants to buy his timber so he sold to a middleman with very low price. The timber was not use for long and was abandon in a old storage.

All trees were sad and disappointed, because their dreams were dead.

A YEAR AFTER, a pregnant lady, Mary and her husband Joseph had came all the way to this city, Bethlehem to deliver her baby but all rooms were occupied. Mary gave birth to her firstborn baby and laid him in the manger. He was given the name Jesus, the king of Israel. The dream of the first tree had come true.

THIRTY THREE YEARS past, a man called his dissappointed and fatigue disciples to sail the boat to the centre of the sea and cast the net there to catch fish,they all do it with suspicion but they followed his order and the day was rewarding .He is the best fisherman because he was the only man to fish for people.The dream of the second tree had come true.

Soon later, the last timber was spoted by a roman soilder. They quickly made it into a big heavy cross. Jesus was then hang on the cross on the top of the mountain, no people fail to see him. Together jesus and the cross bring glory to the heavenly father and the salvation to his people. The dream of the third tree had come true.

Set hope with faith to the living good , he never fail to hear us.

vivi is afraid, horrified,terrified and petrified

i m scared ..it maybe nothing when i tell the matter but is bothering me, i do not know what to do.
i love my chemistry but always cant do it well. now i cant even finish my paper on time . i desperately wan to do best in my chemistry paper so desperate to prove to myself prove to dad prove to others, that i m capable in doing my chemistry. i wanna do well like any other people too. but now>.< i cant even finish my paper , m i just being to ambitious?
But i wan to be ambitious that is what i wanna be.. can anyone help . i m so scared

没 有 的 证 明-without evidence

现 在 的 我 以 对 生 命 有 不 同 的 看 法， 对 世 间， 人 类， 动 物 植 物 的 互 动。。
我 爱 上 生 命 中 平 凡 中 的 不 平 凡， 那 一 种 感 情 好 不 一 样， 要 说 也 说 不 上 来，
可 望 恋 爱， 但 却 不 想 谈 恋 爱
单 恋， 名 恋， 贪 恋 你, 但 你 却 看 不 见
你 在 时 想 隐 瞒 对 你 的 思 念， 不 在 是 又 一 直 美 化 我 和 你 的 过 去
思 念 变 成 呼 吸 般 普 通， 自 然
以 前 为 因 你 掉 的 眼 泪 不 再 伤 心， 而 是为想 起蜜糖 般 的 甜 蜜。
你 问 我 相 信 来 世 吗？ 因 为 你 信。
我 虽 想 念 你， 很 想 飞 奔 到 你 那 里 告 诉 你， 但 我 仍 要 告 诉 你 我 不 信 因 为 在 我 之 上 的 那 一 位 已 向 我 证 明 永 生 之 道， 所 以 我 只 相 信 未 来。
那 我 们 是 否 就 没 办 法 再 见 呢？ 你 在 来 世 我 在 未 来， 我 们 又 要 错 过 吗？
那 也 无 所 谓 了， 因 为 错 过 是 为 了 更 精 彩 的 后 面。

死 亡 的 看 法 呢？ 是 个 未 知 数 因 此 变 得 可 怕。。。 又 或 者 有 放 不 下 的 遗 憾
可 是 对 我 而 言， 死 亡 让 我 看 见 了 生 命， 而 且 是 不 平 凡 的 生 命。
像发 生 了 可 怕 的 灾 难 或 是 病 痛， 死 亡 变 得 不 可 逃，
人 类 的 毅 力 却 在 自 然 生 态 中 让 他 们 存 活 下 来，
努 力 过 了 不 代 表 失 败 而 是 走 现 一 步，
所 以 失 败 的 可 能 是 慢 了 一 拍 的我 们。
正 因 为 如 此， 我 为 了 走 那 狭 窄 的 道 路 需 要 更 努 力 了！！



最 后 的 我 还 是 任 性 的 抱 着 一 丝 希 望 等 待与你再见 的 日 子。